The following websites also provide access to articles on recovery from the Road to Recovery Group. Like this blog, these are not official AA websites (the official AA website is http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/)
http://www.roadtorecoverygroup.org.uk
http://plymouthroadtorecovery.tumblr.com/
https://plus.google.com/109103230992799359906
https://www.facebook.com/roadtorecoveryplymouth/
https://twitter.com/1994rtr
Wednesday 25 May 2016
Tuesday 24 May 2016
The Family Afterwards
My name is Sally and I am an alcoholic. I would like to share my experience of family and my family afterwards.
I was born in 1960, into a very wild and mad family. I didn't live with my mother or father, I lived with my father's auntie. My young days were as I remember, very happy and filled with love, there was always whiskey around and many parties. When I reached age 11 my real mother took me to live with her. I was very sad to leave the mum who I had spent 11 years with and I became very hateful. I wouldn't do as I was told, I would miss school and was getting into lots of trouble. That was a way of life until I was 13/14 when I found alcohol. I loved it, it changed me, I was funny and care-free. I loved the feeling of being drunk.
As my life went on I drank and drank. I married when I was very young and had 3 children. I worked hard and partied hard. If I wasn't drunk I felt like that sad child, something was missing. I couldn't stay sober for very long. I had my own home, fancy cars and money was always at hand. I remember the day my youngest child started school, I had hours in my own head. Moving house, always changing things to fix myself. But a few years on I could not stop drinking even if I wanted to. By this time my family were begging me to stop drinking. I couldn't.
Things got worse, I would go missing and the trouble I was causing broke my family's heart. I was always in and out of hospital and as my pain grew so did my family's. My marriage was torn apart, my children were full of fear and didn't go to school some days because they had to look after me. In the end the family were closing doors on me one by one. My children were taken away from me, the family thinking was that I would sort myseltf out now, because I had lost everything, my home, my children, my family. But still I couldn't stop drinking. My family were in a dark place, not knowing if I were dead or alive. Everyone I knew, everywhere I went, people were criticising me, I was a drunken mess. My children were begging for me to stop, I couldn't. I had disappointed everyone including myself. I knew in my heart that I was dying, I was killing myself with vodka. There's so much more to my story but I'll just say that by the grace of God I went into a treatment house where I got sober. My family were so proud, my children had never stopped loving me and now they had hope. I was sober but still felt like I was dying inside, something was missing, I didn't know what.
I went to Alcoholics Anonymous. I got a sponsor who took me through the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and I came alive. I was happy and very peaceful and I live my life this way today. The family no longer live in fear, they are peaceful and happy too. The family can now rely on me, they have always loved me. You see my drinking took away my family's life too. Today they have it back, that's God's will. Alcoholics Anonymous has saved my family. I live a spiritual life today thanks to A.A, a life today with a happy and care-free family. And if I can do this so can anyone. Your family can have their lives back, they will sleep at night and so can you. Thank you Alcoholics Anonymous.
Sally, Plymouth Road to Recovery Group of Alcoholics Anonymous
I was born in 1960, into a very wild and mad family. I didn't live with my mother or father, I lived with my father's auntie. My young days were as I remember, very happy and filled with love, there was always whiskey around and many parties. When I reached age 11 my real mother took me to live with her. I was very sad to leave the mum who I had spent 11 years with and I became very hateful. I wouldn't do as I was told, I would miss school and was getting into lots of trouble. That was a way of life until I was 13/14 when I found alcohol. I loved it, it changed me, I was funny and care-free. I loved the feeling of being drunk.
As my life went on I drank and drank. I married when I was very young and had 3 children. I worked hard and partied hard. If I wasn't drunk I felt like that sad child, something was missing. I couldn't stay sober for very long. I had my own home, fancy cars and money was always at hand. I remember the day my youngest child started school, I had hours in my own head. Moving house, always changing things to fix myself. But a few years on I could not stop drinking even if I wanted to. By this time my family were begging me to stop drinking. I couldn't.
Things got worse, I would go missing and the trouble I was causing broke my family's heart. I was always in and out of hospital and as my pain grew so did my family's. My marriage was torn apart, my children were full of fear and didn't go to school some days because they had to look after me. In the end the family were closing doors on me one by one. My children were taken away from me, the family thinking was that I would sort myseltf out now, because I had lost everything, my home, my children, my family. But still I couldn't stop drinking. My family were in a dark place, not knowing if I were dead or alive. Everyone I knew, everywhere I went, people were criticising me, I was a drunken mess. My children were begging for me to stop, I couldn't. I had disappointed everyone including myself. I knew in my heart that I was dying, I was killing myself with vodka. There's so much more to my story but I'll just say that by the grace of God I went into a treatment house where I got sober. My family were so proud, my children had never stopped loving me and now they had hope. I was sober but still felt like I was dying inside, something was missing, I didn't know what.
I went to Alcoholics Anonymous. I got a sponsor who took me through the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and I came alive. I was happy and very peaceful and I live my life this way today. The family no longer live in fear, they are peaceful and happy too. The family can now rely on me, they have always loved me. You see my drinking took away my family's life too. Today they have it back, that's God's will. Alcoholics Anonymous has saved my family. I live a spiritual life today thanks to A.A, a life today with a happy and care-free family. And if I can do this so can anyone. Your family can have their lives back, they will sleep at night and so can you. Thank you Alcoholics Anonymous.
Sally, Plymouth Road to Recovery Group of Alcoholics Anonymous
Saturday 21 May 2016
Tuesday 17 May 2016
I always struggled with life
From the start I always struggled with life. Even as a child, I knew I was different. I had my fair share of times when I was humiliated, disappointed, terrified or even used for someone else’s gain. Growing up I had family illnesses, death, violence, broken trust and wrong paths. I could not deal with them. My mind was unstable. My emotions played tricks on me and I couldn’t connect myself to life.
I had a group of friends I started drinking with, but they used my sensitivity and self-pity against me. I had a relative that was into the drugs world. At times it was frightening. The drink helped for a time, but I couldn’t save my relative, and it got worse. I felt misunderstood, no meaning in life. I built this character which wasn’t healthy. I tried to be a good relative, find love and build a life, but I always had difficulties. I tried adult education, organisations for drink and drugs. It didn’t work. I lost my friends and became violent towards my family. So I shut myself away. Things became very dark. I was hidden behind a mask. For years I felt numb, with no purpose and no direction. I consumed a load of misery as well as the booze that fuelled it. The demons I’d created were more powerful than any normal person could imagine or understand.
I fell in love again but I almost ruined it. I became horrid verbally and couldn’t be reasoned with. Again I hit rock bottom. I thought: “Why am I here? What do I have to offer anyone? They don’t understand me.” I was all out of ideas. People that did help me were only around for a short time.
I needed something but didn’t know what, so I went to the doctor that said about AA. I was unsure because you have to talk, I thought. I was still ill, so my mum called the helpline and spoke to a guy called Mark. Then I spoke to him. For a change just speaking to him felt comfortable. He understood me. I related to him. In my mind I began to think, this is one other person that knows my thinking and why the booze is destroying my life. So he asked me to go to a meeting, which I did.
I went with a relative. It took a while to find it but we got there. He went off shopping and I stayed. People were so friendly. I went inside. I was greeted with handshakes. I was offered a cuppa and a biscuit but my stomach was still fragile. Everyone looked well. They gave me their phone numbers or asked for mine. I was worried at first but then began to feel safe. For a long time I haven’t, but this was good. I listened to those who came up and spoke to me. People got me, they understood me.
Soon I started the Steps with a sponsor. Not long after and I got stability in my life. I put my all into Step 4 and cleaned my side of the street in Steps 8 and 9, making my amends to those whom I’d hurt. I kept up with my meetings. I have had emotional wobbles but trusted my sponsor, my Higher Power and the program. I began service as I went through the Steps, which gave me a purpose and responsibility. I’m still going through the service structure and trying to be honest, humble and as helpful as I can. I have had knocks emotionally and have come out the other side stronger than ever. I have started voluntary work and I’m doing driving lessons. I’m nine months sober and building my life again thanks to AA.
Road to Recovery Group of Alcoholics Anonymous, Plymouth
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