The Family Afterwards

My name is Sally and I am an alcoholic. I would like to share my experience of family and my family afterwards.

I was born in 1960, into a very wild and mad family. I didn't live with my mother or father, I lived with my father's auntie. My young days were as I remember, very happy and filled with love, there was always whiskey around and many parties. When I reached age 11 my real mother took me to live with her. I was very sad to leave the mum who I had spent 11 years with and I became very hateful. I wouldn't do as I was told, I would miss school and was getting into lots of trouble. That was a way of life until I was 13/14 when I found alcohol. I loved it, it changed me, I was funny and care-free. I loved the feeling of being drunk.

As my life went on I drank and drank. I married when I was very young and had 3 children. I worked hard and partied hard. If I wasn't drunk I felt like that sad child, something was missing. I couldn't stay sober for very long. I had my own home, fancy cars and money was always at hand. I remember the day my youngest child started school, I had hours in my own head. Moving house, always changing things to fix myself. But a few years on I could not stop drinking even if I wanted to. By this time my family were begging me to stop drinking. I couldn't.

Things got worse, I would go missing and the trouble I was causing broke my family's heart. I was always in and out of hospital and as my pain grew so did my family's. My marriage was torn apart, my children were full of fear and didn't go to school some days because they had to look after me. In the end the family were closing doors on me one by one. My children were taken away from me, the family thinking was that I would sort myseltf out now, because I had lost everything, my home, my children, my family. But still I couldn't stop drinking. My family were in a dark place, not knowing if I were dead or alive. Everyone I knew, everywhere I went, people were criticising me, I was a drunken mess. My children were begging for me to stop, I couldn't. I had disappointed everyone including myself. I knew in my heart that I was dying, I was killing myself with vodka. There's so much more to my story but I'll just say that by the grace of God I went into a treatment house where I got sober. My family were so proud, my children had never stopped loving me and now they had hope. I was sober but still felt like I was dying inside, something was missing, I didn't know what.

I went to Alcoholics Anonymous. I got a sponsor who took me through the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and I came alive. I was happy and very peaceful and I live my life this way today. The family no longer live in fear, they are peaceful and happy too. The family can now rely on me, they have always loved me. You see my drinking took away my family's life too. Today they have it back, that's God's will. Alcoholics Anonymous has saved my family. I live a spiritual life today thanks to A.A, a life today with a happy and care-free family. And if I can do this so can anyone. Your family can have their lives back, they will sleep at night and so can you. Thank you Alcoholics Anonymous.

Sally, Plymouth Road to Recovery Group of Alcoholics Anonymous