About 10 years ago on BBC Radio 1 a popular presenter said something like “Here’s a scary fact. Apparently we swallow on average 3 spiders a year while sleeping.” There were many sounds of disgust and shock heard in the studio, and this fact presumably gave many British arachnophobics a whole new image of what went on in their bedrooms at night!
However, this statistic is now well known to be false and manufactured. It was a factoid that circulated rapidly around the world, even ending up in books and on the BBC, but its roots were entirely erroneous. It was not true. The world is full of these false ideas that spread like viruses. One of the reasons they spread is because they appeal to something in us. Yes, it’s true that spiders may well crawl around our bedroom at night. Yes its true that we probably could swallow something small while sleeping, without realizing it. When these are combined with the dramatic nature of the idea and people we trust stating it with certainty – you have the recipe for a lie that has the ring of truth.
A similar thing has happened in the last decade or so in Alcoholics Anonymous. The idea has begun circulating that AA contains groups that are actually harmful cults. This idea has spread rapidly for similar reasons to the spider-swallowing myth. It has a number of elements that appear to have some truth, and it is a highly dramatic claim. However, like the spider-swallowing meme, it is entirely erroneous and comes from a misunderstanding of what makes dangerous cults so dangerous.
Dangerous cults are considered dangerous mainly because they isolate members from mainstream society and from their family, or cause physical damage (through tiredness and malnutrition).
However - as an aid to identifying cults, lists of common elements are often put together. This can be helpful. But it is not these common elements that are the danger. The main danger is that such cults isolate members from mainstream society and from their family, or cause physical damage. It is a fallacy to say that because a group has some of the elements helpful in identification, that it is a dangerous cult. It’s like saying that because somebody is hot and coughs after a jog that they must have bird flu.
Some common elements listed are: strong leaders, and a willingness to submit to the group beliefs and activities against one's own will. Now in Alcoholics Anonymous these elements are not uncommon. There are “strong sponsors” and charismatic people whom AA groups form around. There are people who will go to their home group on the night of their birthday, delaying their birthday meal to the next day. You will find wives arguing with husbands that she can't be with the children one evening because she needs to go and do an AA talk at a hospital.
The book Alcoholics Anonymous discusses how partners may be jealous of the time that spouses spend working with other alcoholics. It talks about how an AA member may occasionally be accused by their family of neglecting them. However it says this is all a normal part of the process of development. You also find members talking about how their sponsor told them to do something and they didn’t want to do it but they still did it.
There are many characters in AA, strong leaders who are outspoken and often build and lead large AA groups. They are greatly looked up to by their sponsees. There is an element of hero worship for sure. People may often value the comments of their sponsors as much as those of their spouse or religious leader. Members of a group may also sit in a group business meeting feeling uncomfortable with the way the group is moving policy wise, or the way it is influenced by certain people – but they choose to submit to the group.
Now some commentators have taken the above not-uncommon incidents in AA worldwide, and thought: “if some common elements listed in dangerous cults are strong leaders, and a willingness to submit to the group beliefs and activities against ones own will, then if these things happen in an AA group, it must mean those parts of AA are a dangerous cult!” Presumably these people would also diagnose someone who’s just done a half-marathon as having bird flu…
The diagnosis is erroneous because cults are not dangerous due to those elements, those elements are just used to help to identify them. The factors that make a cult dangerous are when it isolates members from mainstream society and from their family, or causes physical damage.
Ask any AA member with one of these “strong” home groups or “strong” sponsors whether they are more isolated from their family before or after getting sober. The question is almost laughable. The AA book talks about how members spend much of their spare time working with other alcoholics. In a dangerous cult members are literally kept away from their families by physical and psychological manipulation. The above AA members are closer and have better relationships with their families than they did before recovering.
As a challenge, try to find a person in one of these AA cults who has recovered and who is not much closer to their family than before. Go to one of the websites of one of the “cult” AA groups and read or listen to a few of their stories. Also read the stories of members of actual dangerous cults. It is in fact an insult to victims of real dangerous cults, and the awful things they and their families went through, for small-minded people to try and compare it to what happens to people in certain parts of AA.
What about the idea that a dangerous cult isolates people from mainstream society? Does this happen in some parts of AA? However, listen to or read a few stories on their websites. These folks are successful in business, joining religious communities, starting new hobbies. They are becoming far more a part of the community - physically and emotionally. Likewise, compare this to the story of members of real dangerous cults.
The issue of the physical damage, sleep deprivation and malnutrition that real dangerous cults do is obviously irrelevant here. But have a read of some stories of members of dangerous cults. Amazingly this really does happen in these organisations. You will be shocked at some of the stories of people and families who have suffered in this way. Dangerous cults are an emotional and dramatic issue. A little like swallowing spiders in your sleep.
Road to Recovery Group of Alcoholics Anonymous Plymouth UK
No comments:
Post a Comment